R.A.F.T.

"We are all in the same boat in a stormy sea and we owe each other a terrible loyalty."
G.K. Chesterton

Transition never occurs in a vacuum. It involves people at every turn. Part of transitioning well means being mindful of the process involved in saying good-bye. If we give ourselves the time and space to say good-bye well we are freer at our destination to say hello with our whole hearts.

RAFT is an acrostic denoting a pre-departure process developed by the late Dave Pollock, founder of Interaction International. It is useful to begin the RAFT process up to 6 months before leaving.

R- RECONCILIATION- Begin building your raft by asking yourself if you have any relationships that need mending. Is there any unfinished business between you and someone you are in relationship with? This is the time to give and receive forgiveness. Bitterness and regret stemming from lack of closure and resolution inhibit good grief and adjustment to a new location. Mend your fences!!

A- AFFIRMATION- This is the time to thank the people who have been involved in your life. Affirm the relationships you have made and what they have meant to you. Take the time to tell people what you have learned from them and how grateful you are for them. Try to leave as little unsaid as possible when you leave a place.

F- FAREWELLS- Say good-byes to people, places, pets and possessions that have mattered to you. Take lots of pictures. Take the time to say culturally appropriate good-byes. Some cultures require a lengthy departure process. Particularly difficult farewells are the ones that are generally rushed or put off, plan ahead and give the farewell its due.

T- THINK DESTINATION- Think and dream about where you are going and what it will be like. Be very honest about the expectations you have for the people and situations that you are going to. Be honest with yourself about how you feel about this transition. Think ahead to what scares you or excites you about where you are going. Research the realities of your destination. If at all possible, put concrete plans in place.