Common Cultural Heritage

Missionary kids can, at times, struggle to find where they fit culturally. They do not completely fit into their host culture or back into their passport culture. They do not often feel like they fit into the culture of their parent's sending organization. Although they are gifted adapters and can tack expertly into the winds of change it is vitally important that we as parents understand that the cultural heritage most like that of our children is found in:

- children of international business people

- diplomatic corp kids

- military kids stationed overseas

- the children of emigrants

- other missionary kids

This is the group to which our children most relate. Part of health for the TCK is recognizing how beautifully they fit into this group, how despite its diversity (which only makes it more fun) it is culturally distinct and remarkably cohesive.

The "true abiding -place"

"If you came back, you wanted to leave again; if you went away, you longed to come back. Wherever you were, you could hear the call of the home-land, like the note of a herdsman's horn far away in the hills. You had one home out there, and one over here, and yet you were an alien in both places. Your true abiding-place was the vision of something very far off, your soul was like the waves, always restless, forever in motion."

Johan Bojer
The Emigrants

"After having to depend on myself so many times in the past, my 'home' is made up of those memories and emotions I have collected over time from which I can draw comfort and strength as needed. In effect, 'home' is the place I can go in my mind where culture is a mix from many places and belonging can be taken for granted...It's as if we global nomads have replaced the physical home of non-nomads...with an internal 'home' we can go to when we need a respite from the world."

Brian Lev

The Big Two

Counselor Sharon Wilmer states that the two most pressing needs of the missionary kids that she counsels are:

~ a need for a clearer understanding that they are "persons created in the image of God"

~ a need for comfort


Identity and grief...that about sums it up.....

"When I travel, I renew myself. I make sense of my life, and I see the patterns of it, I make the connections between where I have been and where I am going. It is through travel that I find my 'present'."

Lisa Linblad~ Lisa Linblad Travel Design
(raised by "wandering expatriate" parents)

Curiosity and Intercultural Competence

Dr. Janet Bennett states that the intercultural competency of "inquisitiveness" or curiosity is essential for effective global leadership. Curiosity is the motivating factor that propels people from the 'ignorance is bliss' stage of cultural "unconscious incompetence" over the cultural bumps along the way to "conscious incompetence" then "conscious competence" and finally, most wonderfully, to "unconscious competence"; the holy grail of intercultural sensitivity. She cites Stewart Black's model of global leadership which portrays inquisitiveness as the keystone that supports all other intercultural competencies. Bennett and Black, among others, suggest that curiosity:

~ Creates action that is associated with learning
~ Inspires leaders to ask questions that help them recognize opportunities
~ Fosters more appropriate decision making, especially in a context where the data are unreliable
~ Develops cultural self-awareness
~ Focuses attention to significant cultural differences that impact effectiveness

Curiosity, not suprisingly, is quashed by:

~ Overloading employees
~ Breeding mere compliance with excessive rules
~ Developing risk aversion, dogmatism and control
~ Blaming and finding fault
~ Creating a culture of fear

Research on curiosity has shown that:

~ Curiosity is a significant determinant of expatriate adjustment. (Mendenhall, Kuhlman,& Stahl, 2002 )

~ Building a culture of learning and innovation has been noted by global business executives as the most effective way to mobilize people. ( Rosen & Dih, 2000 )

~ The practice of curiosity and information seeking does not lessen as people age. ( Giambra, Camp,& Grodsky, 1992 )


Adapted from a presentation given by Dr. Janet Bennett at the Families in Global Transition Conference, 2007

MK Care is Strategic

" If MKs have a head start on managing a a globally mobile life than it makes sense to invest in them as children and give them opportunities to explore the call of God into adult missionary service as well as to develop a comprehensive capacity to live out that life at the highest level of competence...Intervention should begin while an MK is an MK. If we truly believe that the MK developmental experience will result in at least some characteristics that will enhance missionary competence than it behooves mission agencies to direct resources and attention to hone such such qualities in these potential recruits."


Dr. Rosalea Cameron
To Recruit or Not to Recruit Adult Missionary Kids: Is that(Really) the Question?
International Journal of Frontier Missions

Amy Carmichael

Father, hear us, we are praying,
Hear the words our hearts are saying,
We are praying for our children.
Keep them from the powers of evil,
From the secret, hidden peril,
From the whirlpool that would suck them,
From the treacherous quicksand pluck them.
From the worldling's hollow gladness,
From the sting of faithless sadness,
Holy Father, save our children.
Through life's bitter battle cheer them.
Father, Father, be Thou near them.
Read the language of our longing,
Read the wordless pleadings thronging.
Holy Father, for our children,
And wherever they may bide,
Lead them Home at eventide.

Amy Carmichael

Thoughts on "HOME"

" I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death, I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside, I must make it the main object of life to press on to that other country and to help others do the same."
C.S.Lewis
Mere Christianity

"By faith, Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God."
Hebrews 11:8-10

"The man who finds his homeland sweet is still a tender beginner; he to whom every soil is as his native one is already strong; but he is perfect to whom the entire world is as a foreign land."
Hugo of St. Victor
12th century Saxon monk

"All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own...they were longing for a better country- a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them."
Hebrews 11:13-16

"It won't be long , I belong
Somewhere past this setting sun
Find me free, find me strong
Somewhere back where I belong

My wound goes deeper than the skin
There's no hiding it
So I'm not trying it

My hope runs underneath it all
The day that I'll be home

It won't be long, I belong
Somewhere past this setting sun
Find me free, find me strong
Somewhere back where I belong."
Switchfoot
The Setting Sun

FAMILY

"Compared to the geographically stable child the global nomad child is inordinately reliant on the nuclear family for affirmation, behaviour modeling, support and above all, a place of safety. The impact, therefore, of dysfunction in this most basic of units is exacerbated by the mobile lifestyle."

Norma McCaig
Founder and President of Global Nomads International

Top 3

According to Interaction's Director of TCK Services, Libby Stephens, the three questions TCKs most frequently ask are:

"Who am I really?"

"Where do I belong?"

"Why does it hurt so much?"

Pico, again

" For a Global Soul like me- for anyone born to several cultures- the challenge in the modern world is to find a city that speaks to as many of our homes as possible. The process of interacting with a place is a little like the rite of a cocktail party, at which, upon being introduced to a stranger, we cast about to find a name, a place, a person we might have in common: a friend is someone who can bring as many of our selves to the table as possible. "

Pico Iyer
The Global Soul

R.A.F.T.

"We are all in the same boat in a stormy sea and we owe each other a terrible loyalty."
G.K. Chesterton

Transition never occurs in a vacuum. It involves people at every turn. Part of transitioning well means being mindful of the process involved in saying good-bye. If we give ourselves the time and space to say good-bye well we are freer at our destination to say hello with our whole hearts.

RAFT is an acrostic denoting a pre-departure process developed by the late Dave Pollock, founder of Interaction International. It is useful to begin the RAFT process up to 6 months before leaving.

R- RECONCILIATION- Begin building your raft by asking yourself if you have any relationships that need mending. Is there any unfinished business between you and someone you are in relationship with? This is the time to give and receive forgiveness. Bitterness and regret stemming from lack of closure and resolution inhibit good grief and adjustment to a new location. Mend your fences!!

A- AFFIRMATION- This is the time to thank the people who have been involved in your life. Affirm the relationships you have made and what they have meant to you. Take the time to tell people what you have learned from them and how grateful you are for them. Try to leave as little unsaid as possible when you leave a place.

F- FAREWELLS- Say good-byes to people, places, pets and possessions that have mattered to you. Take lots of pictures. Take the time to say culturally appropriate good-byes. Some cultures require a lengthy departure process. Particularly difficult farewells are the ones that are generally rushed or put off, plan ahead and give the farewell its due.

T- THINK DESTINATION- Think and dream about where you are going and what it will be like. Be very honest about the expectations you have for the people and situations that you are going to. Be honest with yourself about how you feel about this transition. Think ahead to what scares you or excites you about where you are going. Research the realities of your destination. If at all possible, put concrete plans in place.